On the surface, projects may seem like ideas on display be it paper or screen. They involve planning, design and implementation. But at their creamy core, they are simply a battleground of interests.
No matter how small a project might be, there are interest groups which will be affected by its outcome. It only takes a short while to notice the different powers at play.
As a project manager, your job is to move the needle until what’s on the ground matches what’s in the plan. But it’s not as easy as it sounds, especially when you must prioritise various interests above others. You must say “No” to someone if you must say “Yes” to another.
What happens when a stakeholder approaches you for some modifications you cannot afford to make? What happens when interests clash?
The normal thing to do is to disagree and then share your view with the stakeholder, right? It sounds reasonable to say, “No, we cannot add that new feature because it’ll mean redesigning the foundations. And we can’t afford to do that now. Not when we’re racing against time.” Then you go on to build your argument layer upon layer until you feel heard.
Well, the most obvious way to say it may not always be the right way.
If stakeholders do not feel heard, it will be difficult to take no for an answer. No matter how cogent your reasons are. Rather, they might feel rejected and disappointed. They might think that you don’t value their inputs. What follows is a loss of trust and support. But this shouldn’t be the case.
One way to create a soft-landing for your “NO’s” is through empathy. It helps to discover why the additional feature is important to your stakeholders. Do they have a personal interest in the feature?
Stakeholders are also human beings. They will only warm up to you when they feel heard and understood. Otherwise, they’ll shut out your voice of reason as emotions and ego take over.
Much of your work as a project manager will be listening. You cannot manage projects and lead people effectively if you lack listening skills. These few listening tips can help you get ahead.
- Pay rapt attention to what your stakeholder(s) is saying. Don’t try to multi-task. It means your attention isn’t there. Face them and maintain eye contact. This way, you are showing interest in what they’re saying.
- Pay rapt attention to their body language. It’s common knowledge that people talk more with their body than they do with their lips. Non-verbal cues are the strongest indicators I look out for when conversing with stakeholders. Elements such as voice volume, pitch, gesticulations, feet direction, eye movement and facial expressions will tell you more than words will. If you pay attention you will pick their real motivations.
- Ask questions to help you understand. One element of active listening is the quality of your questions. Ask questions to clarify facts. Repeat lines and interpret their words out loud to be sure you’re both on the same page. When your stakeholder sees your eagerness to understand them, they will reward you by sharing more information.
- Listen to understand, not to answer back. We all make this mistake. We listen to fire back at people rather than pause to understand them. When you listen to understand, it shows in the quality of your answers.
Saying “No” to stakeholders is part of a project manager’s remit. You cannot feature everyone’s opinion on the project. But you can listen to them. You can make them feel heard and understood. Then you can politely disagree. In the end, empathy will win you more points with your stakeholders than arguments and friction will.
